Betraying Narcissus

Darkness swirling in my stomach
How to exorcise the NKT
From inside my veins?
I won’t practice patient acceptance
Of an abusers paradise
I know others on the inside share this pain

It’s not paranoia
When they discuss their next move against you
Stepping off the throne
In the meditation break

You won’t silence me
With the usual tactics
I learnt to fight back
In the meditation break
You won’t annihilate me
Make me doubt my sanity
I learnt to trust my intuition
In the meditation break

We’re all mentally unstable
Full of generations of trauma
Broken dreams, neglect and heartbreak
But Narcissus pretends he’s perfect
He’s an empty shell, a reptile, a snake
Jeckyll and Hyde
He learnt to hide his true self
In the meditation break

He thinks you can’t handle the truth
You’re too weak to meditate on death
Even though it could come today
But Narcissus isn’t imagining death
He can’t even focus on his breath
He’s probably ashamed he’s secretly gay

Fantasies of control, power, sex and money
Where can he get his next hit?
The next source of supply
He’s an addict
But he’ll calmly get others to believe
You’re the one who is sick

They’ll make you ‘insane’
Confusion going round and round in your brain
You were just unstable all along
They’ll manage to claim
She lost her dad
That’s the only reason she’s ‘mad’
They’ll read your PhD thesis
In the meditation break
My ‘paranoia’ just got really bad

He can’t handle the truth
His imperfections, his shame
He thinks he’s on the path
But still he craves fame

I won’t enable you, I won’t collude with your games
Defame and destroy should be your middle names

You were right about one thing
I only put up with your shit
Because of my dad
But not because of his death
Because he was ‘mad’

Narcissus plays innocent child
But it’s all a façade
He knows what he does
He knows he’s not mild

I won’t be your Echo, I won’t listen to you preach
I won’t repeat your words, I won’t watch while you leech

I’ll watch your actions and ignore your words
Empty word salad
But I see your smirk

I won’t rejoice in your satisfaction, your expansion
Spreading like a virus
Make them work, work, work

Time is ticking
Your mask is slipping away
You’re getting old Narcissus
Your harem won’t stay

I wish I had known
About ‘Fair Game’
You’re not fooling anyone
Even the ones with your name
We know you don’t care
We know you’re not in pain
I will betray you
Over and over again
Dr Mere Name

20 thoughts on “Betraying Narcissus

  1. Fake names in an attempt to silence critics. Welcome to the world of the New Kadampa Tradition, the home of fake Buddhism.
    An excellent piece of poetry. I salute your continued courage in standing up to the NKT bullies.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Just encountered your blogs again (I posted on your Youtube vids towards the end of them but I will not use my real name this time). It’s really sad that this didn’t settle down and the defamation campaign against you has proceeded, unfortunately rather predictably … claim that you were fired for gross misconduct, taint all the claims in the report with an ad hominem attack based on this, classic entrapment.

    I’m going to have a look at “his” text on the site to see if I can see anything interesting. I’ll write to you soon at the above email address if you don’t mind.


  3. I love you Dr Haslam. You are my kind mother. May all your suffering ripen upon me, may all my happiness ripen upon you ❤️


    1. My suffering is a really important part of being human. And also in my processing and recovery from this disturbing experience. So when you say this, it feels like you are trying to steal my experience from me. I also don’t want your ‘happiness’ either. I am not a New Kadampa, don’t want happiness in the way that you define it, and don’t believe we are supposed to be happy all the time.

      It’s not healthy to say that you love someone you have never met. It’s obvious you are taunting me. Carry on if you like it just makes you look more and more twisted

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I understand it is a bit strange to be told that ‘I love you’. My love is based on the reasoning that we have had countless past lives in which we were all each other’s mothers at some point. Viewing you and other survivors as my mothers is far more beneficial than developing aversion towards you. This view helps me develop affectionate love for you and finds it difficult to standby and watch you experience pain. If your own mother was in pain you would naturally want to help her right? Ofcourse you have the right to experience your pain and learn from it. The old Kadampa geshes would say that suffering has good qualities as it can help us grow in the long run. I just want you to know that I am not your enemy, I love you deeply, and it would be great to make peace with you ❤️


  5. It’s very clear from your previous trolling of me that you have a great deal of aversion towards me. Previously you wrote ‘carry on ‘thriving’! which was clearly a jab at me, in suggesting I am not thriving, and that you are happy about that. Seriously you aren’t fooling anyone. If you had real empathy for me you would use your real name and speak from your heart instead of passively aggressively repeat teachings


    1. What on earth compels them to comment like this other than to inflict further trauma?

      It’s like sharing quotes out of Donald Trumps book with someone recovering from trauma induced by Donald Trump. To make things even more twisted, the same anonymous person you don’t know says “I love you” on top of it.

      It’s clear that this is an attack on Michelle. Thank you for publishing these comments so that others can see how awful the NKT are.


      1. You’re right, it’s highly traumatising. I have said over and over again, that I am not a new Kadampa, don’t believe in enlightenment, don’t wish to be happy all the time, don’t believe in past or future lives. So when people force their New Kadampa fake well wishes on me, it does trigger me. But, I have allowed comments so this is what I should expect. I have triggered them and so now they wish to trigger me in return


  6. Give love a chance Dr Haslam and my kind mother survivors ❤️ (No need to feel threatened or triggered by love ❤️)


  7. If there’s any kindness that results from these passive aggressive comments, it would be from their help in increasing the visibility of this important website on Google. Visiting and commenting helps considerably, so thank you!


    1. Good point Pat. I think they must have changed tactic following your comment because they started taunting me by email instead this afternoon through another new temporary email address. It’s truly pathetic


      1. indeed it is. Looks like the website has gained a slightly higher ranking. Thank you for staying engaged whoever you are!


  8. Dr Mere Name. I don’t believe in future lives as stated above and I am not your sister. You wish to traumatise me. You are trying to get me into a trauma bond, where you are both the source of trauma and (fake) love, in the hope of confusing me. Except you don’t confuse me. You make it very clear how disturbed you are and what your intentions are. Did you enjoy taunting me by email earlier today?


    1. But sister, you are the one writing poetry about me. I’ll never stop loving you Sister ❤️ See you in another life Sister ❤️


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